


See You Soon

by someoneyoucantstand



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-04
Updated: 2015-07-04
Packaged: 2018-04-07 16:18:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4269897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someoneyoucantstand/pseuds/someoneyoucantstand
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Despite that, I noticed things. I noticed how when you smiled, it never really met your eyes. I noticed how you would slowly scratch your arm without even noticing, as if it was something natural to you. I noticed that whilst, you were bright to me, everything around you seem faded."</p>
            </blockquote>





	See You Soon

“We met on the first day of my freshman year. You were this big sophomore who frankly, scared the crap out of me. You treated everyone with respect and when I joined the Lacrosse team, you were there to help me with pointers.

We spent time together but we were never friends. You helped me and we were team mates, but you were older, popular, good looking, and I was the awkward freshman that was still trying to find his feet. Despite that, I noticed things. I noticed how when you smiled, it never really met your eyes. I noticed how you would slowly scratch your arm without even noticing, as if it was something natural to you. I noticed that whilst, you were bright to me, everything around you seem faded.

 Then I smashed up that car and you became different from the respectful person, and instead you became mad, especially when I got kicked out. It was only sometime later when you told me that you only got mad because you knew we’d hardly ever see each other again.

It was only a couple months later when we came back together because of the list, this time me as a werewolf too, and it became easier to notice the things that were wrong with you.

I noticed that you smelt like anxiety and blood.

I noticed how your heart beat was slow.

I noticed how you smelt like fear.

The fear was strong, and hit me like a car every time I was around you. Sometimes it was more faded than other times, but it was always there, wrapped around you like a coat.

I wasn’t the only one to notice it, of course.

Scott did.

Malia did.

Derek did.

We all noticed it but never said anything to you, because we knew you’d never say anything to us. You had too much pride to do that. You wouldn’t even admit to us when you got a question wrong on a test, so we knew nothing would be said for this constant stench.

Towards the beginning of my Junior Year, you kissed me as we walked in the woods and my chest tightened and I wanted you to do it over and over again. You gave me your hoodie, said good night and then that was that.

From then on it wasn’t Liam and Brett, it was Liam _and_ Brett.

Eventually you moved to Beacon Hills High School and it seems like that’s when everything went wrong.

I know it wasn’t anything to do with me, your heartbeat told me so.

I knew it wasn’t anything to do with classes, your straight A’s told me so.

It was your dad.

It’s easy to remember what I saw that night.

It’s easy to remember how such an innocent act of wanting to sneak into your bedroom window to cuddle with you turns into something that was haunting for me.

Ever since that night, it stayed printed into my mind.

Your dad with his hand raised, his food planted into your ribs, your screams echoing. They would have been bad enough for a human, but with the wolf ears, it was beyond torment. I noticed your mother wasn’t there. That was probably a normal thing for when this happened. When she was there, it was happy. When she wasn’t, it became your own little horror films.

And then it all made sense.

Your tired eyes, your faded personality, how you always threw yourself into the danger of what the pack did – maybe in the hopes that it would end you all together, although I like to think against that - the way you always attacked yourself, the anxiety and the blood. _The fear._  I saw him beat you and it took everything I had not to come and hurt that man, possibly even kill him.

But I didn’t.

I didn’t do anything, hell, I didn’t even tell you I was there when it happened.

And I think that’s where I went wrong.

Maybe if I had admitted to you what I had seen then you would have been open to speaking about it, not only to me, but to everyone else, to everyone else in the pack. We could have helped you, Stiles could have talked to his dad about your dad, and I could have got my step – dad to talk to some of the therapists at the hospital.

Looking back, I don’t know why I didn’t. I could have done something, but I didn’t. And I had to carry this around for as long as I lived.

It seemed like as soon as I saw what happened, it got worse, you got worse.

You started fading more and eventually came a background character in our lives. You still sat with us and came to back meeting, and you were still our friends, but you were never truly there, your mind was always somewhere else. It could have been thinking about what bad could be waiting for you when you went back home, but I always replaced that thought with the idea that you could be thinking about the good things and I life you have away from it all.

On the day it happened, everything felt normal.

Yeah, you didn’t turn up the pack meeting, but we didn’t really think anything of it. We knew you were studying for a test you had to retake so in our minds, that’s where you were.

We were at Scott’s house talking about anything supernatural that had happened in the last couple of weeks when Melissa rang Scott to tell him to get us all to the hospital. It was there that we found out you’d done it.

You finally got away.

You did everything in your power to stop your werewolf body from healing the damage you were doing.

They told us that you had took some sleeping pills that you’d bought from the chemist around the corner before stabbing yourself in the stomach, twisting the knife until the only thing your wolf could do was die, leaving you a fully vulnerable human who couldn’t take it.  

Apparently there was so much blood that the only way they could tell it was a suicide and not a murder was by the suicide note. And even then it took me and a couple of the teachers to identify that it were your hand writing and not something that was forged.

I can still picture everyone’s faces when we found out.

For the first time in a long whilst, Stiles had no words. He remind silent as he held Malia who, despite her straight face, had tears running down her face.

Kira was the one that had to stop Scott from sending the whole hospital crashing down. He screamed about how he took you into his pack with a promise to Satomi on how he’d keep an eye on you. That night, he cried for his new beta. Kira was barely holding it together.

It seemed like the death took a large toll of Lydia’s banshee because she cried and cried as Derek tried to calm her down.

Me?

I sat in the corner and sobbed.

I pushed myself a way from everyone and punched a wall before falling down and curling myself up, sobbing into my knees. I didn’t take anything else in once I started doing that. Eventually everyone else calmed down slightly and moved onto helping me, Scott hugging me, holding me tighter than when I was thrown down the well but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t want Scott to hug me, I wanted you.

I wanted you.

I needed you, Brett.

I can remember everything being silent bar me crying.

I eventually stopped on the outside, but I never did stop on the inside.

The school let everyone have a day off before bringing us back in and holding an assembly that talked about how if it ever gets too hard, we can always speak to anyone because no matter how bad it gets, there’s always light.

I walked out after 10 minutes.

After your funeral, I basically stopped living.

Everyone knew I stopped.

Everyone knew I was never coming back.

Your dad went to prison and your mom gave me the suicide note.

That was the only thing I paid attention to.

I didn’t sleep, I didn’t eat, I didn’t go to school. All I did was read that note over and over again.

Despite reading it all the times I did, the only line I can fully remember was when you started talking about me. I can only remember the last words you ever thought of me.

_‘I was fading and you were brightening. You were talking in my light, not letting it go to waste, but I couldn’t keep up. I never have been, ever since you were the awkward freshman. I love you, Liam. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything else, and when I see you again, you better have had a good life. A good life with a family, a husband and children and the white picket fence. When I see you again, you better be as bright as you are now. I love you Liam and whilst I don’t want you to forget about me, I want you to move on and live life. If not for yourself, then for me.’_

Well, I’m sorry Brett but I couldn’t.

How could I ever go to someone else when all I ever needed was you?

I know people say that your first High School crush is probably not going to be your last, but when it was cut short like mine was, it does become the one that sticks with you forever.

I love you Brett, and I know you’ll never see this with you all the way up there, so that’s why I’m keeping this one with me.

I’ve got a note set out of the pack, and one from Mom and Dad so that they have something, but this one is for you.

To whoever finds me first, and reads this, I don’t want you to worry about me, god no. I don’t want Scott to cry about his first beta, I don’t want Stiles to be speechless; I don’t want Lydia to fall and have to get Derek to pick her back up. I don’t want a single tear to fall out of Malia or Kira’s eyes.

I want you to remember me how I was after Brett died how the lights in me went out and how I became darkness. How worried you all became over the thought that I’d fallen and I might not get back up again. I want you to know that after all that, I got back up, flicked the switch, and now the lights are back on, and I can see Brett in the glow.

I want this with me, in my arms in that coffin so that I can give it to Brett when I get up there with him.

I love you Brett, and I’ll see you soon Buddy.

Love always,

Liam”

****

On May 17th 2015, at 6:32 PM, Scott, Stiles and Lydia found a 16 year old Liam Dunbar dead in his bedroom.

He had taken sleeping pills he had gotten from the chemist around the corner before stabbing himself in the stomach, twisting the knife until the only thing his wolf could do was die, leaving him a fully vulnerable human who couldn’t take it. 


End file.
